The Best Games I'll Ever Play

The greatest game I've ever had the pleasure of playing. Sure, that opinion is heavily influenced by rose-colored nostalgia goggles, but I have distinct memories of great satisfaction in beating this game and its second quest.

I love, love, love the single-player campaign more than the multiplayer, mostly because I suck at the multiplayer. It's okay, though. It's more fun taunting youngsters who just learned how to curse than it is murdering their virtual self.

Ok, this is on here because real-life pinball tables are an addiction for me. Seeing as they're rarer than blood-soaked steak these days, my heart does backflips when I find one in the wild, just waiting for me to pound on its flippers and run up replays. Addams Family and Theatre of Magic are my top two, followed closely by Star Wars and South Park. One day, I'll own one of these things.

I honestly don't know what all the fuss is about. I mean, I'm trying to kill these fifteen boars for their livers FOR THE GOOD OF THE ALLIANCE. If the dog can't let itself out, that's kind of her problem, isn't it? Now, please be quiet. Narthal Ravenhootenblooten is giving me a quest to gather 12 pears...FOR THE ALLIANCE. Shit's important, you know.

The perfect action game. Please go buy "Mega Man: Powered Up" for PSP so they remake this one and I can be as happy as I was when I turned 10 and discovered this gem.

This game is a drug. Plus, free Halo 3 beta!

THIS GAME MADE IT OKAY TO SCREAM EVERYTHING YOU SAY. KRATOS DID IT, SO WHY CAN'T I? Seriously, best game of last gen.

You know when people walk in on you during "private" moments and there's that deer-in-the-headlights stare you both share before one person shakes loose of his embarrasment and walks away? Yeah, that's what happened when my roommates came home to see me rocking out to Pantera while wearing a toy guitar. I have zero shame.

Sam: I feel that we have tampered with the fragile inner mechanisms of this spaceship we call Earth. Max: If we have to destroy the entire west coast area just so some sweaty, quazzy creatures can have a safe haven for their digusting lifestyles, so be it!!!

It's like Pokemon, but with cash. And cards. And bitter disappointment. Actually, it's nothing like pokemon.